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Due to college-related stress, I had a nervous breakdown about 10 minutes ago. The first thing I did was call my mom, hoping to get a sympathetic ear- long story short, she’s not exactly a sensitive soul. The next person I tried was my sister- no answer on the telephone. So, my last resort: a big slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top. “Ahh, finally the solace I need,” I thought to myself as I devoured the first bite. Immediately, my tears stopped and my nerves settled. As I went in for my second bite, a thought occured to me…put down the pie, and pick up the laptop. Yes! BRBcoffee would be the perfect place to vent my frustrations to the general Norwegian/West Virginian universe in a way that didn’t go straight to my chin(s). The pie is still next to me, but I have not touched it since I opened this web page.
And now, onto why I came to BRBcoffee in the first place: to vent!
Back story: I am a student transferring from my 2-year Community College to a 4-year University- more specifically Eastern Washington University. I graduated from said Community College this past summer and decided to take a quarter off in order to give myself plenty of time to transfer to EWU.
Current reason why I am stressed: Eastern took waaaaay longer than promised to review my transcript, accept me as a student, and allow me to declare a major (something I have yet to be able to do). I was finally scheduled for an appointment today with the department head, but got a call that she was not going to be in after all. Well, the woman who I was talking to decided she would help me register for classes over the phone- she suggested Statistics (which was full but she would open a seat for me), a stress management class (also full), and an online class as my only options. I went along with it but mentioned to her that I was pretty sure I didn’t need a Stats class for what I was going into. Turns out, I had been directed to the completely wrong department. All the work I had gone through this past month with calling people, trying to get appointments set up, encountering endless road bumps- all a complete waste of time, and now there is a very small likelihood that I will be able to get into any classes.
Core of the issue: If I don’t get into Eastern by this following quarter, I am going to feel like a failure. My father will be disappointed in me, but more importantly- I will be disappointed in me. I often fear that I am doing nothing productive with my life and that I, basically, suck. College, however, was my small salvation. Though it was a terrible process for me on some days, I forced myself to go and do well in order to say, “I’m not a complete waste of skin.” It made my family proud of me and made me feel less guilty for living a privileged life. Now that I think about it, most of my self-identity was centered around school. Sad, I know, but not being able to go to school just seems completely devastating. I could try and fail to get a job, I guess, but I just don’t feel like it’d be worth it.
Maybe it’s a problem solely with me, or maybe it’s a problem with the fucked-up system known as America. All I know is that I’m not very happy. At least right now, I’m not. I don’t like that feeling of stomach-churning anxiety (which inevitably leads to diarrhea- TMI?) everytime I do anything. I don’t know, maybe I need help.
There is one thing I know for sure, I need to get this off my chest:
FUCK YOU, COLLEGE!!!
Greetings from the icy version of Hell! It is currently 8 degrees (that’d be about -13 for you Celsius folks) outside and I am chilled to the bone. Two winters ago, we had unprecedented snow-fall, last winter we had absolutely no snow, and this winter (oh wait, it isn’t even technically winter yet!) has already been colder than the past 30 winters on record! And they say global warming’s just a myth…
Believe it or not, this is not a picture of me.
Onto another subject matter: shallow bitches. I have decided that there are too many men and women in this world who base “love” on physical attraction. First of all, I honestly do not understand how it is possible to be attracted to anyone based solely on their looks. It has been my own personal experience that the only way to light a fire in the ol’ loins is to get to know someone. Physical beauty is not very stimulating for myself, but things like intelligence, hilariousness, kindness, overall non-douchebaggery…that’s sexy. Second of all, most of the people who do base love on appearance have standards that are completely ridiculous. So you want a girl who looks like that model on the cover of Vogue? Guess what, even she doesn’t look that good- it’s called re-touching. Or maybe you want that dreamy hunk in the latest vampire flick you watched? Unfortunately, there’s a high possibilty that his muscles were painted on with spray-tan and he’s a self-absorped dickhead.
Le sigh…I’ve probably said this before in a blog of mine, but looks are so trivial in the long run! And I’m not just saying this because I am a short, strangely proportioned woman who sometimes has a jew-fro. I’m saying it because I know, firsthand, how whimsy attractiveness can be. Don’t we all? If someone is a jerk, they will start to become more and more ugly to us, and if someone is a sweetheart, they become more and more beautiful. This scenario I mentioned happens all the time, but I have yet to see someone who is a dick on the inside become nicer simply because they look good.
Oh, fuck it all! Let’s start a riot!
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I hate menstruation.
There is honestly nothing pleasant about it, besides the fact that it means you are still capable of reproduction. Cramps that feel like you ate a seemingly dead chupacabra that came back to life in your lower intestine, unbelievable headaches, retention of water AKA you look and feel fat, tender breasticles, heightened emotions, having to wear a freakin’ diaper and/or shoving a dry tube of cotton up your piche….I tell you, men have it easy.
I think periods are kind of like little forebodings of what it’s like to be pregnant. Which makes me think, do I ever want to get pregnant? Ehh. But now that we’re on the topic of pregnancy, I heard an interesting story about this man who got these two worm-like parasites in his testicles and had to get them removed via surgery. His wife told him, “Now you know what it’s like to give birth.” This seemed absurd at first, but then it kind of made sense. I mean, babies start in the ovaries (female testicles) and the size of hole they have to come out is not dissimilar to a worm coming out of a man’s ball/penis. Am I wrong, here? I think not.
Anyway, I look forward to the distant day when menopause greets me and takes both my fertility and my monthly hell from me. I shall not weep for my lost eggs- no, I shall celebrate with champagne and a ritual burning of “sanitary napkins.” Until that day, I bleed.
Ciao!
I know Steinar sort of has the corner on animal-related blog posts, but I have a point to make.
Wolverines.
Aww, he looks so cute, doesn’t he?
WRONG!
I’m telling you, these things are not to be trifled with! They take on opponents like bears and wolves, and they win! Perhaps the deadliest thing about the wolverine is his element of surprise. You don’t expect a small, furry thing to come after you with cold-blooded murder in his eyes, and so you may get a little too close or even try to pet the creature. Before you know it, you’ve lost an arm and are praying for death.
Now, just because they are scary little buggers doesn’t mean they should be hated. Just like any deadly animal, they should be feared and respected. Unfortunately, their populations are dwindling and that saddens me.
So, moral of the story: when traipsing about the countryside of northern latitudes, bring with you a gun…but don’t shoot unless your life is in immediate danger!
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Attention one and all! The first official threat of snow has reached the city of Spokane (my town)! WOO HOO!
Alright alright, so writing a blog entirely about snow may not be too exciting for the loyal Norwegian fan and author base of BRBcoffee, but it is for me! You see, last winter we got about one week of snow….and that was it (and you tell me global warming isn’t a real thing). I live in one of the northernmost states of America, save Alaska, and so I felt rather gypped when I couldn’t even scrounge together a single snowball. 🙁 However, starting this week, I could start seeing the flakes fly at almost any time.
When the snow starts, that means it’s almost time for Christmas and you know what that means: Christmas music! Oh yeah, baby, I am one of those freaky Americans that loves Christmas music with all her little heart. Not gonna lie, I’m listening to some right now as a prelude to the up and coming holiday season. It’s very strange, I usually try to avoid any and all things related to Christianity, but when it comes to Christmas music, I absolutely love the religious stuff. I know not why, it’s not like I believe in the message, they just tend to be very beautiful- from a purely listener’s point of view.
Now, I suggest you all watch what happens to be one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies, White Christmas:
Snow, snow, snow, snow, snooooow!