Posts Tagged ‘love’
Lately I have nauseated the people around me, and probably to some extent the readers, by being insufferably happy. The reason for my happiness is both simple and complex.
Simple version:
I’m in love.
More complex version:
The change in my life, when I moved to Tromsø, gave me a new kind of energy. The new subjects I’m studying are perfect for me. The feeling of finally being in controll of my life and getting somewhere gives me reason to get up in the mornings. And the man who is the object of my most obvious love is kind, caring and (for some reason I still can’t quite grasp the concept of) in love with me as well. Shortly: I’m in love with my life, my subjects and a man.
Oscar Wilde said to “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.” And being a man who sacrificed his social standings, his career and his health all for “The love that dare not speak its name”, another man (which was a criminal offence in England in the 19th century), I’m guessing he knew a little something about love.
My life felt like that sunless garden for some time. It is a cliché to say that love shone a new light, but guess what: There’s a reason to clichés becoming what they are. And the greatest part of it is: The more I love my life, the better it seems to get.
This incredibly happy and optimistic submission is not only my way to force my happiness down your throats, but also an attempt to outweigh my previous life-categorized posts of a more emoistic character (not a word, I know, I made it up…) and to let you all know that I have found happiness. For now, at least, and hopefully one that will last, no matter what the future holds.
Buddha told us that happiness never decreases by being shared, using the metaphor that “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.” I try my best everyday to make people around me happy. I smile, I try not to be mean, and I try to be the best person I can be. I believe that it is everyones shared duty to make the world a better place. And now I feel it returning to me: The joy and the happiness I wish for others are filling my heart, making it even easier for me to smile and be nice. And I can tell you something: This is the best way to be happy. Be happy, share happiness and it will return to you.
Those are my words of wisdom and sickening smugness for the night. I actually did mean for this post to be funny and upbeat, but I guess you’ll have to settle for what you get.
-Frida
Let’s talk about love!
I was always taught that boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, then forget the world.
That’s not true! I know that it isn’t true, and yet I still can’t help but think it. Right now, I’m accounted for, but that doesn’t mean that I expect to marry the fellow, or that I expect for us to live happily ever after. It doesn’t work like that!
What are some misconceptions of love, you may ask? Here are a few. People my age and of my generation are under the impression that the right person will meet all of our needs. We, in this case being the ladies of this generation, are looking for a man to sweep us away, take away all our problems, and be the only thing we need in the world. That is not and never will be the case. Expecting for a man to be almost omniscient, all-knowing, all-compassionate, love-machine. It wont happen. That’s too much for one man, too much for one person. The only way for us to be happy with another person—or even by ourselves—is if we rely on more than one person, and especially ourselves. We need to be willing to take responsibility for our own happiness, for our own actions, for our own well-being.
To continue, we are under the impression that we can change other people. We are under the impression that we can transform them from an irresponsible, relationship fearing mess to a family guy. That doesn’t happen. There is one person that you can change, and guess who that is? Yourself. Thomas a Kempis said, “Be not angry that you cannot make another as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
Next, we think that love is a feeling. We think that those butterflies in our stomach are because of love. That the initial and absolute bliss that we feel around someone else is because we are in love. Not true! It is temporary and will go away! Love isn’t a feeling, it’s action. It is doing something for someone you care about—whether it be not talking smack or letting that person borrow your history notes. Love isn’t those butterflies, it isn’t that bliss, it is something so much more supreme, so much more satisfying.
Finally, we’re under the opinion that if it is true love, we don’t have to work for it. We’re under the impression that if it is supposed to work out, it will. That isn’t the case. Love is compromise, love is argument, love is everything. It’s more than just the picnics and paddle boats. It is the time together and the time apart; it is the walks in the forest and the distant phone calls; it is the happy times and the sad times. Love is complex, and we are under the impression that it is the most simple thing in the world!
Now, above it sounds like I am supporting the idea that there is the “one and only” someone. That isn’t the case. All people are loveable. I could conceivably, and I’m sure as happily as can be expected, live the rest of my life with any man I know. It’s about where he is, where I am, and the chance of our meeting. I could get married to the fellow I’m seeing right now, or I could get married to that guy I nod at in the hallway. There isn’t a predestined man that I will fall for. There isn’t a person that I am supposed to marry. There’s a chance.
We always look at others and at chance as if nothing else could happen, as if this is the only way for it to work out. That’s never the case! It is luck. There is good in everyone. If I marry a fellow and love him with all of my heart and he dies, guess what? I can marry another! Will that make either of the relationships not matter as much? No. They’d both be meaningful. Love is love is love.
Do I agree with polygamy? Not particularly. But I am fond of the idea to love as many people as possible as much as possible.
Eh, I guess my point is that I DON’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS (or perhaps I do… I don’t know!) But it’s late and I meant to do my history homework and I didn’t because I’m stupid. So. Have a delightful day.
I love you!
Love,
Elizabeth <3
As I sit here, clumsily half-drinking, half-spilling my wine, I am suddenly struck with the notion to write a blog about the indescribable topic of love.
But first! The typical, yet wonderful love song playlist:
“Not About Love” -Fiona Apple
“House of Cards” -Radiohead
“It Must Be Love” -Madness
“Love” -Paul Simon
“Kathy’s Song” -Simon & Garfunkel
“Resistance” -Muse
“Love Of My Life” -Queen
“Let’s Stay Together” -Al Green
“Nothing Compares 2 U” -Sinead O’Connor (or Prince if you prefer)
“Overs” -Simon & Garfunkel
“It Ain’t Me Babe” -Bob Dylan
Shall we start with an over-simplified analysis? Of course!
Amazingly, I couldn’t find a schematic of love on Google Images, hence I had to go into Microsoft Word and conjure up some semblance of one with poor graphics and inappropriate sarcasm (don’t take offense to this my lovebird readers):
Now here’s a shocker (maybe) for you: I’ve never been in love! That’s right- I’ve never had a real boyfriend or anyone who seemed even remotely interested in me (save that man downtown with the wheelchair…). It’s a bit pathetic, really, and this might just prove to be a bad decision, confessing all of this to you and whatnot, but I don’t really care- at least this blog will be one of genuineness.
So, you might be wondering why the devil little ol’ me wanted to write a blog about a topic I have no personal experience in? Maybe it is my lack of experience which intrigues me so. Love is a universal subject which all beings are involved in, some way or another. We all want it, we are all burned by it at some point, and yet we always always always come back for more. Can you think of anything else that comes even remotely close to having that kind of absurdity? I cannot.
Let’s finish up this menagerie of rambling with a poll!
[poll id=”11″]