Let’s talk about love!
I was always taught that boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, then forget the world.
That’s not true! I know that it isn’t true, and yet I still can’t help but think it. Right now, I’m accounted for, but that doesn’t mean that I expect to marry the fellow, or that I expect for us to live happily ever after. It doesn’t work like that!
What are some misconceptions of love, you may ask? Here are a few. People my age and of my generation are under the impression that the right person will meet all of our needs. We, in this case being the ladies of this generation, are looking for a man to sweep us away, take away all our problems, and be the only thing we need in the world. That is not and never will be the case. Expecting for a man to be almost omniscient, all-knowing, all-compassionate, love-machine. It wont happen. That’s too much for one man, too much for one person. The only way for us to be happy with another person—or even by ourselves—is if we rely on more than one person, and especially ourselves. We need to be willing to take responsibility for our own happiness, for our own actions, for our own well-being.
To continue, we are under the impression that we can change other people. We are under the impression that we can transform them from an irresponsible, relationship fearing mess to a family guy. That doesn’t happen. There is one person that you can change, and guess who that is? Yourself. Thomas a Kempis said, “Be not angry that you cannot make another as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
Next, we think that love is a feeling. We think that those butterflies in our stomach are because of love. That the initial and absolute bliss that we feel around someone else is because we are in love. Not true! It is temporary and will go away! Love isn’t a feeling, it’s action. It is doing something for someone you care about—whether it be not talking smack or letting that person borrow your history notes. Love isn’t those butterflies, it isn’t that bliss, it is something so much more supreme, so much more satisfying.
Finally, we’re under the opinion that if it is true love, we don’t have to work for it. We’re under the impression that if it is supposed to work out, it will. That isn’t the case. Love is compromise, love is argument, love is everything. It’s more than just the picnics and paddle boats. It is the time together and the time apart; it is the walks in the forest and the distant phone calls; it is the happy times and the sad times. Love is complex, and we are under the impression that it is the most simple thing in the world!
Now, above it sounds like I am supporting the idea that there is the “one and only” someone. That isn’t the case. All people are loveable. I could conceivably, and I’m sure as happily as can be expected, live the rest of my life with any man I know. It’s about where he is, where I am, and the chance of our meeting. I could get married to the fellow I’m seeing right now, or I could get married to that guy I nod at in the hallway. There isn’t a predestined man that I will fall for. There isn’t a person that I am supposed to marry. There’s a chance.
We always look at others and at chance as if nothing else could happen, as if this is the only way for it to work out. That’s never the case! It is luck. There is good in everyone. If I marry a fellow and love him with all of my heart and he dies, guess what? I can marry another! Will that make either of the relationships not matter as much? No. They’d both be meaningful. Love is love is love.
Do I agree with polygamy? Not particularly. But I am fond of the idea to love as many people as possible as much as possible.
Eh, I guess my point is that I DON’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS (or perhaps I do… I don’t know!) But it’s late and I meant to do my history homework and I didn’t because I’m stupid. So. Have a delightful day.
I love you!
Love,
Elizabeth <3
