Hi.
I just came home from an 18 hour train ride from Oslo to Bodø. In Oslo i attended Red Youths biennial country meeting, its highest political and organizational authority. I will not discuss what happened there, but rather something else entirely.
It amazed me how something as simple as a small crush can be so profound in its effect. They say that love is giving someone the opportunity to hurt you and hoping they don’t, and that you never trust anyone as easily as you did the first time. I like this definition because it means that at the end of it all, when you are standing in the ashes of what used to make you smile and your heart beat 10 times faster, the pain you feel means that no matter how fleeting or distant it was, it was real but for a moment.
I have recently experienced a heartbreak. For a while, following my earlier trail of thought, I did not feel that much at the end. So I figured maybe it had not really mattered to me after all. But what thoughts and feelings your mind is able to suppress, comes to light when you are weary and alone with your own thoughts. And suddenly it mattered more than anything, and you feel all alone in a world that is just a little bit too harsh.
I purchased a replica death note and wrote your name in it. I do not know if I hoped it would work, but at the very least it meant the death of whatever good feelings I had left for you.
Vegard
