Posts Tagged ‘conspiracy’
While this seems to be love-week here on BRBcoffee, I have recently discovered a conspiracy that I simply must write about. It’s a matter of my own safety, for I fear that if this conspiracy goes unnoticed, I might die! If enough people know about it, the conspirators will either be too afraid to strike again, or at least when they succeed I will have left behind enough information that the guilty ones will easily be identified and taken care of.
I started suspecting that there was a conspiracy only yesterday, but there is evidence that it has gone on for much longer than that. The first thing that made me suspicious was the comments right here, on this blog! They’re using my own tools to conspire against me! 
Ghasp! If you look carefully, you’ll find that there are direct promises of violence against me under one blog post, and with that premise, other comments can be interpreted to be hidden threats. For instance “Something good might happen to the American people!” is obviously referring to my impending death.
As you can see, the conspirators are none other than my own handpicked co-authors! I can only speculate as to what their motives are, but one thing is certain, they have been at it, and recruiting co-conspirators, for a very long time! That picture is published on facebook, and in the comments section there are three more people who express glee at my passing.
It gets worse. I have reason to believe that they have direct access to my food-supply. As I was enjoying a moment of silence in my otherwise hectic day, and eating a dinner which I had most meticulously concocted, my own food tried to kill me. Had I not had water handy, as I always do, for situations just like this one, my food would have succeeded. The assault cannot have lasted longer than 20 seconds, but they were some of the longest seconds of my life! How they managed to inspire such mutiny in my food I do not know, but from now on I shall always be on guard, and always chew thoroughly.
In other news, I’ve recently revived my Linux partition, and am thinking about giving it a revamp. Any ideas?
