I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, and nothing gives me insecurity like it.
Soon, I will be filling out the applications, making the plans, trying my hardest to get the money, and I will be going to college. Where will I be going to college? I have no idea.
What will I be studying? I have no idea.
What should I do with my life? Is college where I belong?
Maybe it would be better for me to find a sugar daddy, get married, have kids, and try to be happy. Or maybe I should be an individual, an old spinster, a bachelorette who lives with her cats. Maybe I need to have an amazing job that is very demanding, or perhaps I would be more happy working as a barista at Starbucks. Maybe I should switch around, constantly changes jobs, changing careers, changing my mind sets like I do now.
My question is, should I go to college until I have a plan? Is it worth it? Should I go into thousands upon thousands of dollars into debt trying for a career that I wont like very much, or should I just take each day in, not trying for a plan or an option?
If I do decide to go to college, should I take the easy, cheap route, such as Concord, or should I spread out and go to a college in another state? Can I afford either one? Are they worth it?
I don’t know! With each rising decision is another chance for me to fail, for me to make the wrong choice, for me to regret it and suffer for the rest of my life.
A bunch of people in my grade already know exactly what is happening. They’re going to go to WVU and become doctors and will not stray from that. They are going to be dentists, nurses, 4-H extension agents, archaeologists, or physicists. No matter where I turn, others my age and a lot younger than me already have a plan. Where’s my plan?
My biggest fear is making a mistake now that will effect the rest of my life. How do I know what is the right choice?
This blog pretty much sums up life.
And here’s a comforting thought for you- some of us never figure it out.
I’m pretty sure everyone feels like that, even those friends of yours that have it all planned out. They’re gonna doubt whether they’re making a mistake too. But what is it really that you’re afraid of, do you think that there’s a golden path that you’re destined to follow, but you have to make the right choice now to walk it? I find that notion absurd, you can have fun with pretty much any field of work, it’s just what you make of it. Well, maybe there are some that you can’t have fun with, but chances are you won’t be majoring in those anyway. This whole thing with being terrified of making the wrong choice has got to stop! We’re always making choices, but if you’re just going to start worrying about the next one immediately you won’t get to enjoy the consequences of your past ones. Woah, long paragraph.
Also, word on the street is: “Don’t fucking go to Concord, that place is terrible!” So yeah, don’t go there, you’ll definitely get a lot more from straying off the beaten path, especially when the beaten path passes through Concord.
Also also, I thought working at a Starbucks sounded pretty awesome.