I have a hard time trusting people sometime. Why? I guess due to disappointments in the past. But I’m trying to be less manic, paranoid and sceptical.

When I was younger I always figured that long-distance relationships had to be the best kind. It would be so great to have the time I needed for myself and my friends and still having that one person I really cared for. It would take commitment, but I’m the commiting type. And it wouldn’t have to affect my life that I had a boyfriend. That was the best part.

Now; I don’t like the idea of long-distance. I will do it for the person I’m in love with, and lord knows I have done it. But it sucks. Paranoia eats me up, I worry that I’m not interesting enough, I worry that people are out to hurt me, to cheat on me. I guess experience can ruin any optimistic romantic.

I guess it’s all about finding the right person, and then the distance and time won’t matter. For some people 6 days away is enough to lose feeling, others can take 6 months of distance. If the feelings are still strong after 6 months, and the wait seems worth it, then maybe you’ve found someone worth it. Right?

-Contemplatingly yours,

Title-track: I think I’m Paranoid-Garbage