“Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… and you give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “maybe we should just be friends” or “how very perceptive” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” –Neil Gaimon; The Sandman

The more I think about it, the more difficult this thing called life is—especially love. I’m a serial dater (meaning that I tend to have short, meaningless relationships for no reason than to have fun in search of that thing called love). More often than not, I mess up. But sometimes, especially this last time, I don’t understand what happens.

Love is difficult. I try my hardest to be happy, to have fun, to make a difference and I am crushed. What do I do? Try again.

Who knows, maybe this weekend I will meet my future husband and be happy forever. (You pessimists, don’t take this thought away from me.)

Always an optimist,

P.S. I only wrote this because I’m in a nostalgic mood and no one has posted anything in a long while. Though what I said really wasn’t that interesting, god I love that quote from Neil Gaimon.

P.S.S. Read Good Omens by Neil Gaimon. Good stuff. Or the Sandman comic book… also good stuff.

P.S.S.S. Damnit, Elaine posted something today 🙁 THIS REALLY WAS POINTLESS!

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