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My eyes feel as if they are going to fall out of my very head. I have spent hours upon hours desperately searching for worthy articles to help me with my most recent assignment of  writing a paper about “Racial Stereotypes in Crime Television.” See, the problem here is that I don’t friggin’ watch any crime television! Therefore, I am taking knowledge (with proper acknowledgment of course) from any-and every-one who has observed said topic. The other problem is that my paper simply refuses to take a specific direction. To focus only on African American stereotypes or to focus on all minorities? To do a timeline layout of stereotypes in media over the years or to simply talk about specific shows and their impact? And that’s where the research comes into play; I thought maybe I could get some direction based on the articles I found. Unfortunately, every article I read is a god damned 15+ page dissertation which my tired and inept brain simply will not process! Whatever happened to the short, entertaining articles written at an elementary school level to disguise the plethora of valuable information within?

Oh, I also just recently had a bug crawl up my arm which made me freak the fuck out, and now I keep feeling imaginary creepy-crawlies all over me. Will this night of terror ever end?! Actually yes- yes it will- for I am going to declare temporary surrender to my paper and fall into a sleep filled with nightmarish dreams about due dates, paper cuts, and racial stereotypes in crime media.

Peace out, sauerkraut.
Elaine

The countdown starts! Twelve days until I make my way to West Virginia for my bestest friend’s wedding! Yay!

Now, it has been almost two years since the McDougall brothers (myself and Amanda…long story) have seen each other, so this is going to be quite wondrous. Anyone who wishes to witness this reunion of epic proportions; I invite you to get your ass to West Virginny.

I’m so looking forward to meeting all the crazy peeps down there and experiencing…The South. I plan on having biscuits with as many meals as possible and going to the infamous Walmart, where many a-special things have taken place.

The flight might be a little hellish, but it could be worse. Besides, my sheer sleep deprivation is going to make for a wondrous roadtrip from the airport to Princeton. We will undoubtedly break out the Michael and have ourselves a little car dance party, so to her fiance, Josh: be prepared.

Upon critical review, I have decided to discontinue this series. Yes, after only one chapter,  it’s done. Ya’ll don’t want to read my crappy writing and it makes for incredibly boring blog entries, therefore it is over.

If you care at all, the status of my essay is a completed rough draft. The final publication will be finished by Friday and that will be that. In the future, perhaps I will use BRBcoffee to bounce ideas around, but nothing more.

Just to specify, I’m not quitting BRBcoffee, just quitting writing about lame English class projects. Worry not my loyal readers! I will be here for awhile yet. Maybe I’ll even develop a life and have really awesome topics to discuss. That is not a guarantee, so until then…

“So long, honey babe,
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell.
Goodbye’s too good a word, babe,
So I’ll just say fare thee well.”

-Elaine

Guess what, everyone…

You all get to go through an entire writing process with me!!! Aren’t you excited?! I know you’re already in utter rapture at the idea, so get some poppycorn, fasten your seat belts and away we go!

I plan on this being a sort of series which will come in (semi-)regular installments. This being the very first, I’d like to introduce to you why I am writing and what it is I am writing about. I will even attempt an Intro/Thesis Statement! I find this to be a wonderfully self-benefiting idea because it gives me a chance to get some helpful feedback from all of my well-versed readers.

Let me start by informing you that I have not, do not, and will not write essays unless forced. That being said, I’m writing an essay for my English class. It has to be under the general-topic-umbrella of “Music and Social Commentary.” Now, as some of you may already know, I am a fan of Michael Jackson. Aha, let me rephrase that… I FREAKIN LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON! Naturally, I have decided to write about him; my lovah.

I know some of you are probably snickering at me for my love of the Michael, but that’s okay. Not everyone understands him or even wants to, though it should be accepted as a natural law that he was a musical genius.

The direction I wish to take with this paper is somewhat of a broad one. See, I plan on discussing 3-4 of his songs and the social commentary in each. After compiling a list of possible songs and their related social issues, I have come up with this:

Black or White- racial inequality
Earth Song- environmental concern, warfare, animal welfare
We Are the World- global awareness
Heal the World- similar to ^
Man in the Mirror- making the world a better place
Gone Too Soon- written for AIDS victims (specifically, his friend Ryan)
What More Can I Give?- along the same lines of We Are the World
Morphine- drugs
Scream- public scrutiny/paparazzi, sensationalized media
They Don’t Care About Us- stereotypes, prejudice, police brutality
We’ve Had Enough- situations in Iraq and Afghanistan

After careful deliberation, I have narrowed it down to Earth Song, They Don’t Care About Us, and We Are the World/Heal the World. The last two will be combined since they pretty much deal with the same issues.

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for. *DUN DUN DUN* The Intro/Thesis! Any and all feedback is GREATLY appreciated, and don’t forget to come back for my next installment! Enjoy:

Known for being the greatest pop musician in the history of the genre, Michael Jackson was and still is a musical legend. It is nearly impossible to find a single person on planet earth that cannot name and/or sing along to at least one of Jackson’s songs. What many people are not aware of, however, is the incredible lyricist with a knack for social commentary that was hidden behind those infectious rhythms and that shiny pop veneer. Whether it was world poverty, environmental degradation, police brutality, racial inequality, or simply making a difference in this world, Michael Jackson’s talent for penning socially aware songs left a lasting impression on multiple generations and continues to inspire fans of music worldwide.

As I sit here, clumsily half-drinking, half-spilling my wine, I am suddenly struck with the notion to write a blog about the indescribable topic of love.

But first! The typical, yet wonderful love song playlist:

“Not About Love”  -Fiona Apple
“House of Cards”  -Radiohead
“It Must Be Love”  -Madness
“Love”  -Paul Simon
“Kathy’s Song”  -Simon & Garfunkel
“Resistance”  -Muse
“Love Of My Life”  -Queen
“Let’s Stay Together”  -Al Green
“Nothing Compares 2 U”  -Sinead O’Connor (or Prince if you prefer)
“Overs”  -Simon & Garfunkel
“It Ain’t Me Babe”  -Bob Dylan

Shall we start with an over-simplified analysis? Of course!

Amazingly, I couldn’t find a schematic of love on Google Images, hence I had to go into Microsoft Word and conjure up some semblance of one with poor graphics and inappropriate sarcasm (don’t take offense to this my lovebird readers):

Now here’s a shocker (maybe) for you: I’ve never been in love! That’s right- I’ve never had a real boyfriend or anyone who seemed even remotely interested in me (save that man downtown with the wheelchair…). It’s a bit pathetic, really, and this might just prove to be a bad decision, confessing all of this to you and whatnot, but I don’t really care- at least this blog will be one of genuineness.

So, you might be wondering why the devil little ol’ me wanted to write a blog about a topic I have no personal experience in? Maybe it is my lack of experience which intrigues me so. Love is a universal subject which all beings are involved in, some way or another. We all want it, we are all burned by it at some point, and yet we always always always come back for more. Can you think of anything else that comes even remotely close to having that kind of absurdity? I cannot.

Let’s finish up this menagerie of rambling with a poll!

[poll id=”11″]